Those who have followed me know that I have the drive yet lack the consistency.
Yes, I can admit to my inability to keep the conversation going. Partially, I must say, my inconsistency is due to personal reasons. On the other hand, it is due to the fact that I am really, really shy.
Now, I know what you’re thinking.
If you’ve read any of my poetry, I tend to say pretty much whatever is on my mind. If you’ve actually met me, I’m a real people person.
It’s true. I can talk to anyone in any situation in a friendly and sometimes jovial interaction.
Honestly, though, I AM really shy.
So here’s the question: If I’m so shy, why do I work with words?
It’s hard to say really. I’ve always had a lot to say about everything. Yet, sometimes I feel that what I have to say won’t resonate with other people. I feel that what I have to say will be looked upon as unimportant. And truthfully, that scares me.
It also scares me to know that once I’ve said (written) something, I can never take it back. It will forever be in the universe – positive or negative. The last thing anyone wants to do is portray themselves negatively.
So I had to decide what was most important to me.
The answer I came up with is this: Regardless of anything, writing is something I love. And if you love something, you work at it, even if things seem grim. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks and/or feels as long as I am being true to myself at the end of the day.
It took a while to get to the point of being able to shun my shyness. I’m still not sure I’m all the way there. However, I’m confident that I love writing enough that I will be able to move forward in this new year and share more with you all than ever before.