I’m Scared of Social Media

I got to thinking the other day about why I’ve had so much trouble gaining traction on social media.

The conclusion – I’m absolutely, without a shadow of doubt afraid of social media.

No joke.

Sharing my thoughts, my day, my process – nope. Don’t want to do it.

Now, why do I care so much about social media? Well, that’s how I meet new people who may need assistance.

I’m going to be completely honest. The amount of anxiety social media creates for me can be a bit overwhelming. But I realized what my problem is, and I know that many of you can relate to these things.

Social Media Is High School All Over Again

Social media is like high school to me.

It’s the place where I spent some of the most traumatizing portions of my life. But there are 4 main reasons why I feel like I’m back in high school again.

Stand Up, Stand Out

It’s the place where the popular, or not so popular, people stand out. Everyone is drawn to them for one reason or another. Whether popular or not those people live in infamy. Easily remembered.

Let me be clear, I was not popular in high school. I was more unpopular for reasons that are absolutely embarrassing in my adult life. One of those things is being a teen mom.

At the time, I was a proud mom, as proud as a 15-year-old can be. But now, I see the magnitude of being pregnant in high school and that reality still bothers me.

Adults and kids alike admonished me with their eyes, many of whom stopped speaking to me.

I know you’re saying, “Trina, what does being pregnant in high school have to do with your fear of social media”.

As a personal brand, I always worry about how the world sees me. Many of the people who I’m friends with on Facebook or who follow me know me in real life.

The knowledge that I decided something which altered the course of my life the way it did leaves me with anxiety.

Being on social media I think of what people will say about the stances I have and stories I tell. Will they remember me as that girl who got pregnant in high school?

I know, it’s weird. But it’s a real thing.

Watch What You Say

It’s the place where if you say anything a little to the left, people will bash you. Everyone has an opinion, but some opinions aren’t received very well.

In high school, I had a tendency of saying things that rubbed people the wrong way. I mean, seriously dude, I had a mouth and a foul one at that.

I also lived in an era where little girls are best seen and not heard.

Saying things that little girls shouldn’t say was my superpower. But I wasn’t looked upon as a hero. I was more a villain, to be honest.

You can imagine how self-conscious I am about saying anything on social media. It was not fun being a snarky kid who got side glances anytime she opened her mouth.

While my vocabulary isn’t as colorful now, I am still very sarcastic which seems to get lost in translation. This makes it difficult for me to talk about certain topics because I still remember being that girl with the villainous tongue.

What do I say without causing drama…?

Everyone Knows It

Anything you do and/say is public record. Even when you think you’re being “private”, somehow someone always finds out.

Like most kids, I had people I talked to and those I did not. I belonged to only 2 groups – the musicians and student government. I also tended to hang with the upperclassman. Not many, but a few.

My high school was small, only about 400 in total. But the school is K-12 so there were levels to it – elementary, middle, and high school all wrapped in one. No matter what, it was guaranteed if you told someone something someway, somehow everyone ended up knowing.

And it wouldn’t be the most obvious reason. One time someone’s younger sister overheard a conversation. Then told her friend who was the sister of another high schooler. The next day, everyone knew what had happened and it was not a happy feeling.

Dreaded was the moment when someone exposes something you thought only a few knew.

That’s why it’s part of the fear. There’s a lot about me I’m not proud of and the moment I start talking about my past it gives me anxiety. Kids don’t see the lesson; they only see the mistake.

Easily Ignored

 Anyone at any time can choose to ignore you. People can make you feel invisible.

There were moments in high school where I felt like no one could see me. It was a very sad time and I made some tough choices due to my loneliness.

It was worse for me in the 12th grade when high school becomes easier for everyone else. I struggled so much, I barely attended school other than to get marked present. It was so bad I had to attend summer school for the first time while other kids were getting ready for college.

I wished I was popular for my brains or my beauty or something to get the validation I so desperately needed at the time. But I wasn’t.

So, when I take the time to post something thoughtful the sting of being ignored comes into play. Will anyone notice?

The Reality of the Situation

That’s a lot of insecurity wrapped up into one, but these thoughts don’t serve me. They may be real feelings but they’re invalid ways of thinking.

Social media can seem like high school for many people but that doesn’t mean we have to go back there mentally or emotionally. And if you’re anything like me, you know there’s more to you than your past insecurities.

The whole point is my fears from my past jump out at me but I’m not that unpopular, snarky, vulgar-mouthed, invisible kid.

Am I going to allow what happened 20 years ago decide whether I make an impact or not?

I’m scared of social media, but it can be a friend.

And if you’re anything like me, I know how hard it is to put yourself out there. You may not have memories of high school like I do, but you do get a bit scared.

I’m here to tell you it’s okay. I struggle just like you, but I choose to keep posting no matter how fearful I am.  As long as you believe in what you’re putting forth, no amount of fear or anxiety can get in your way.

You just gotta stop whining and start writing!

Has there been a time when social media rubbed you the wrong way? Were you ever afraid to post? How did you handle it? Comment below to join the conversation.

The Need For Validation

I craved the validation of my parents growing up. For even the smallest accomplishments my sisters received praise. I, however, fought to even be noticed.

Now, one could say that I suffer from middle child syndrome but it’s bigger than that. Standing out from my Oh so talented siblings wasn’t easy.

The reality is my parents will probably never give me what I wanted and ultimately believed I needed.  And that’s okay.

But it wasn’t until I took a hard look at myself now, I realize the lack of validation from my parents has affected me in my business.

Let me explain how.

Validation in Business

Whenever I wrote a blog or posted on social media if it didn’t get the attention I thought it should I would give up. Days, weeks, and months went by before I posted again. And, once again, if it didn’t get the attention I felt it deserved, I was crushed.

Here’s the thing. I’m not in this to become popular. Getting hundreds of likes or comments is not my purpose.

I’m in this to help someone become better. I do this to help the shy writer finally write the stories they have in their head and heart. I’m outspoken to give a voice to someone who is oppressed and/or ignored.

It wasn’t until I began to focus on my WHY that I said to hell with my parents’ validation or that of anyone else.

As long as I know what I do is important and there is a need for it, it doesn’t matter what people say and/or think about me. All that matters is I care about the person who reads or hears my message. I may have grown up without validation but I no longer allow the lack thereof to dictate what I say and do.

I don’t know who needs this right now but who cares if your parents didn’t support you. What’s the big deal your teachers didn’t understand you. Why does it matter if your family doesn’t get why you’re doing what you do.

You know you have a story to tell. There is a message inside of you. You know what you have to say matters. And if you know all this, it doesn’t matter if you get 1 like or 1,000 likes. What you do matters. You don’t need to be validated by anyone but yourself. Period.

Do you find yourself searching for validation in what you do? Let’s talk about it. Leave a comment below.

New Year, New Mindset, New Possibilities

The new year usually forces everyone to look over their lives. Sometimes people loath what they reflect on and other times they smile at what they have accomplished in the previous year. I, personally, applaud my growth in 2017 and I’m super excited for 2018.

New Year’s Goals

If you follow me on FaceBook or Twitter, you know that I am doing a lot of stuff. The new year is filled with the awesomeness that I cannot wait to share with you.

Ambitious Endeavors

As you know, Ambitious Endeavors is the website I use for my writing and entrepreneurial clients. This site houses my coaching, as well as articles to assist women writers & entrepreneurs in their quest to become amazing writers. I am happy to announce that Ambitious Endeavors is taking on guest posts and is beefed up with loads of information to continue to help women writers & entrepreneurs blossom.

There will also be some additions to the site to give readers more of what they need, such as:

  • New Coaching types to assist a more diverse amount of writers & entrepreneurs
  • An assortment of live and pre-recorded courses for writers & entrepreneurs to learn or enhance skills
  • Videos for visual aid and assistance

These are just a few new additions and I will announce more as the year goes on.

New Book

In 2018, I am working on my new book, Journey to the Sky: If the Sky is the Limit, Why Are You Still on the Ground. If you notice, the name of the book is the title and motto of this website. From the advice of an amazing coach, Karin Roest, I decided that writing a book that combined advice to women writers & entrepreneurs with personal stories of my journey was the best thing for me and my audience.

The prospective release for Journey to the Sky is between May and September, depending on its completion. In order to stay on schedule, I have formed a Book Development Team. This team will assist me in completing the book, as well as helping with the word-of-mouth marketing. If you would like a spot on the team, please click here.

 

Speaking Engagements

I am now available for speaking engagements. For so long, I was deathly afraid of speaking in public due to having massive stage fright. But I realized, the best way to get my message out there is to push past my fear and go for the gusto. Besides, speaking gives me a brand new type of audience to touch and help get where they want to be in their writing and careers.

My first speaking engagement is in February and I couldn’t be more excited. If you have an event and need a speaker, please contact me with the details.

Group Involvement

I have formed two amazing groups. One was started a few years back and had to be revamped in 2017 and the other was created in November of last year.

Ambitious Endeavors: Support Group for Women Writer & Entrepreneurs

The Ambitious Endeavors Support Group is a FaceBook group with women of all different ages, backgrounds, abilities, and locations. The purpose of the group is for women writers & entrepreneurs to feel comfortable about where they are in their careers. They share their experiences and expertise with one another in an effort to grow.

3SF: The Society of Sophisticated & Successful Females

3SF is a sorority-style mastermind group of women entrepreneurs. The purpose of this mastermind is to help women grow in their knowledge, whether they are new to entrepreneurship or experienced. There are weekly meetings through Zoom, a book of the month, and a messenger chat for instant help.

If either one of these groups is of interest to you, please feel free to join either on the links above.

 

Support

You have supported me for some years now and I have to say, it warms my heart to know so many of you root for my success. As the year commences, I will continue to push myself and my business to new heights. It is my hope that you will continue on the ride with me. I could not do what I do without you. There are several ways to show your love and support.

Patreon

Patreon is a wonderful site that allows supporters to fund the projects of those they support. Your contribution will help me to create more in a shorter time. And you aren’t just giving me monetary support. You get some pretty cool stuff in return. Click here to find out more.

Social Media

I would love for you to follow me on social media, as well as like my FaceBook pages. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn. I’m everywhere and appreciate anyone who follows me.

Share & Comment

The other way to show your support is to share and comment as much as much as you can. The more people who know about me and what I’m doing, the more people I can touch. And I don’t doubt for a minute that you will help me do that.

 

I know there is a lot here, but I never dream small. Honestly, there are a few things that I haven’t divulged to you in an effort to be secretive. But because you are so amazing, you will find out soon enough. Until then, follow your dreams and be unstoppable.

 

Why I Made The Decision to Invest in Myself & My Business (And Why You Should Too)

I would like to believe I’m a pretty smart cookie when it comes to investing in me. Not trying to brag. Just being honest.

In my business and writing, I plan accordingly and use the best ideas to move forward. Within that plan, I use several different services and products to work more efficiently – working smarter, not harder.

But I wasn’t always the sharpest knife in the business drawer.

Continue Reading “Why I Made The Decision to Invest in Myself & My Business (And Why You Should Too)”

I Can’t Do It Without You

My Sincerest Thank You

Over the past 8 years, you have been there for me. Through my career ups and downs, you have shown me a level of support that always kept me going. It’s because of you I push forward in this crazy world of business and writing. You make me feel like I can do anything and for that, I am truly grateful.

An Opportunity For You

I see you commenting and liking my social media updates on my work, Ambitious Endeavors, and I Mean Really Dude. I can tell that you want to see me succeed and now there is a perfect way for you to be part of it all. I’ve teamed up with Patreon to help me get you involved as I move forward in my goals.

What Does This Mean

Patreon makes it easy for you to support me with different levels of contributions. These contributions will then be used to help in getting an assistant and hiring writers. Also, It will help with the day-to-day responsibilities I have while running multiple websites and putting out products/services that benefit people just like you.

What Do You Get Out Of It

I hope you didn’t think I was asking for your contribution without giving you a little something in return. Come on, you know me better than that. For each level of contributions, there are definitely some cool perks. Rewards for your patronage include:

  • Sincere thank you
  • Access to all Patreon updates
  • Weekly videos updating my activities
  • View first 3 chapters of all upcoming books
  • Autographed book(s) published within the year after becoming a patron
  • Shout out on Twitter @MsTrinaLynne, @AmbitiouslyYou, and @IMeanReallyDude
  • Name a character after you in future works of fiction
  • Name on contributor’s list on Ambitious Endeavors, Journey to the Sky, and I Mean Really Dude
  • Behind the scenes access to podcasts, webinars, and courses
  • Personal handwritten thank you
  • Attendance to a monthly “campfire” via Zoom with an ask me anything Q & A, as well as you can pitch ideas for future podcasts, webinars, and courses

Each contribution level has different sets of rewards, all of which helps you be part of the entire process of my journey to greatness.

Be Part of Greatness

As I said before, there are some amazing things going on now within Ambitious Endeavors, I Mean Really Dude and my personal career goals. It’s not all hype. In the coming weeks and months, you will be able to see the major push I’m making.

But why just watch from the sidelines? You could play a part in the greatness being set in motion. Your contribution gives you the opportunity to be part of the entire process up close and personal. Now, doesn’t that sound like an even trade? 😉

How Can You Help

To be a contributor all you have to do is click here and choose your level of contribution. All come with perks, but the more you give, the more you get.

Whatever you can give is a blessing and much appreciated. And I will do beyond my best to make you proud and make your contribution well worth it.

I do hope I can depend on your ongoing support.

Peace & Blessing