The confident persona that hides the little girl

Screaming, crying, frustrated with the world

No one hears her sobbing while she dies inside

Too busy staring at the mask she wears on the outside

Gracious and kind

Slowly losing her mind

Pain runs through her like blood flow

The tears give her a saddened glow

Trying desperately to ignore it all

Can you hear her pleas and calls

She screams for happiness in vain

Are you listening? She’s going insane

Hiding in the shadows of a face barely aged

Within, all she feels is rage

Shielding herself from all outside forces

The pain has too many sources

Waiting for some kind of sign

Deteriorating with time

There is a need to rebuild the soul

Shed all of the past woes

Release all fear of judgment

Search for true sustenance

Let the butterfly wings spread

Before the inner torment deems her dead


For more poetry and prose, check out The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: The Struggle of Being Bipolar


Previous PoemNext Poem

Back to Poetry

One Problem, Many Solutions

So, of course everyone knows that I have been having technical troubles since Sunday evening. Thank God that problem may just be over. I’ll know for sure by tonight.

I spent hours upon hours trying to get things fixed and situated. The screaming, crying and utter frustration with the issue shook me in a way I did not expect. I mean, we all have set backs when making goals, but I think it’s the level of determination that caused my inner being to stagger.

For so long I have fought with the demon of fear. The fear of success mixed with a fear of failure has always crippled me to the point of zero results. No matter how many ideas I have written in notebooks and stored on the hard drive of my netbook, I could not seem to execute what I wanted.

I know you may be wondering, what does one have to do with the other? Well, let me explain.

It took a lot of courage and hard work to get my series and the such mapped out. It took some soul-searching, as well as some hard advice from friends and family. But I sucked up my fear and was ready to pounce.

And then……

Everything came crashing down. My technical problem wouldn’t allow me to share the projects I had worked on for so long. I approached the problem with conviction and it only got bigger. It didn’t help that no one else could see the problem from where they were. It was strictly coming from my computer. And I had worked so hard.

This one problem started a ripple effect on me. I started to doubt that writing would ever be a success for me, even though I love it beyond any word I could ever express. I started to then panic because all my other responsibilities were coming at me like a high-speed chase. It even went as far as shaking my faith.

Some may think, “All that for a technical issue”? Yep. The technical issue wasn’t the actual problem. It was just the rock that was thrown in the pond. Even the tiniest pebble can make ripples that span a lake. This small problem was enough to bring out things I had been questioning for years.

From this problem I’ve learned some things and have come up with solutions:

  • Learn the ins and outs of a site so that you can troubleshoot the best way you can.
  • Tech support is your friend (Me and the tech guy are like besties now that we’ve talked so much.)
  • Every setback does NOT mean failure. It just means you have to find a new route. You may just have missed a turn somewhere.
  • Pulling at your hair while frustrated is NOT a good thing. (I almost lost one of my locks. 😀 )
  • When you get fustrated do NOT use anyone in a 10 block radius as verbal target practice. You may hurt some feelings that way.
  • There’s nothing wrong with plan A, but make sure plan B, C and D are waiting if needed. Having a back up plan to the back up plan to the plan is a WONDERFUL thing.
  • Allah (God) never gives you more than you can bear. (Hence why my problem is reducing) Breathe and relax.
  • Something I need not ever forget again: Every cloud has a silver lining and after every storm there is a rainbow.
  • Having a meltdown helps only one thing; it helps you admit defeat. Take a break and come back to things.
  • Mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it shouldn’t matter. Think: things could always be worse.

Now that I have said all that I am utterly refreshed.

A real writer writes and doesn’t just talk about writing, so that is what I am headed to do. I am so happy I can now focus on what matters instead of staring at internet codes and updates all day.

Thank you for all your patience. We should be back to our regular scheduled program as soon as this evening.

Peace & Blessings


So Many Songs….So Little Time

Morning all!

I have been diligently preparing for the Quiet Storm series which premieres next Sunday. I have a little problem though. Well I guess it’s less of a problem and more of a blessing.

I didn’t realize how many songs I actually like. I mean, music is my second love but the playlist has gotten rather long. To most that would be a very good thing. For me, it’s a bit of a dilemma.

I originally wanted to feature the Quiet Storm stories every Sunday. However, with all the songs that have come to mind, as well as those handed to me from others, I may have to expand on the day. It’s just up to me to decide which extra days I would like to feature Quiet Storm stories. Lucky for me I figured this out before the series started. 🙂

Anyone who knows me knows I am an indecisive person by nature. Have no clue why, I just am. So the decision is what schedule I want to have for Quiet Storm now that all these stories have come to me.

The thought to have a story each evening came to mind but that’s not always feasible with my mommy duties. But you know what? I will leave it up to you wonderful people.

Which days would you like to see the Quiet Storm stories aside from Sunday? Also, if you have a song you would like me to create into a story let me know.

Your opinion is appreciated by me.

Peace & Blessings


To Write Love On Her Arms

If you check the middle footer on this site you will see a charity powered by Socialvibe that I would like everyone to show support for.

To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for those who struggle with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide. This non-profit exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and invest directly into treatment and recovery.

I chose this charity because I myself have suffered with depression, addiction and suicidal thought due to being bipolar. Its been a rough road for me and still is, but I know that others deal with these same issues. I was blessed enough to have a couple close friends, but everyone isn’t as fortunate.

For many years I suffered in silence until I was forced to open my mouth. So many are silent until they silence themselves forever. Personally, I don’t want anyone to have to go through what I have or witnessed.

There are so many who get beat up by the world for so many reasons and it is up to us to let all of them know they are not alone.

So show your support at the bottom of this site for To Write Love On Her Arms and let those who are struggling know you care.

Feel free to visit the website to find out more info.

And Now For A Tour

I’ve calmed down a bit from all of the excitement of my kids starting school and debuting the site. I’m still a little amped but definitely not as much as the previous week.

I would like to give you guys a personal tour of the site, now that things have settled.

If you look to the navigation bar at the top of the page you will find 4 pages aside from the HOME page. Each of these has its own significance and houses a different treat for each reader.

  • The Writer – This is where readers will find updates on submissions, articles and guest blogs I’m involved with. Also, it will have a hint of my charm and personal wit. 😉
  • Deep Within – Here readers will find my first love of writing, Poetry. Some personal, others not so much, but you will get a glimpse at the one form of writing that started it all.
  • Quiet Storm – In this wonderful section, every Sunday readers will find a story that has been inspired by song. Music is another love of mine, so I’ve incorporated some of my favorite songs into a story. Pretty cool huh!
  • The Langley Heights Chronicles – Are you ready for some drama? Well, Langley Heights is where you’ll find it every Thursday. This section is all about a neighborhood with a lot to say. Kind of a fly on the wall scenario of sorts. So many characters, so little time. Readers will be left wanting more, I guarantee you.

Each section brings something different and I just hope all of you out there enjoy what’s about to happen.

*Please Note: Stories on the Quiet Storm and Langley Heights pages appear once a week. The stories are then taken down and reposted on the Home page for those who have missed an installment. Deep Within is updated more often. All previous posts can be easily found in the categories’ section on the right sidebar.

Happy reading.

Peace & Blessings